today was the first day since a levels ended that i completely did not step out of the house. and for most of today, i was alone at home by myself. the solitude was very welcome. it was relaxing to be able to do whatever i wanted on a whim. and well, after being out of home so much, it's nice to wind down at home.

and i did quite a bit of thinking and reflecting. about my time in jc... and the future. and prayed about it. haven't really had such a nice long stretch of time for the day's qt- just between God and me- for so long. it's really peaceful spending time with God when there's no one else around. and pour out your heart to God in words and song. not that He doesn't already know what's in my heart.. He knows me more than i know myself. but it works the same way as with close friends. your friend knows how you feel.. call it intuition if you like. hearing you personally convey your thoughts tell them gives them joy. and well, talking to your closest friend puts your heart and mind more and ease.

yesterday and today the word 'believe' popped up a few times. it is a word i needed to hear:-

yesterday i watched the polar express. it's on the draggy side but the message it tries to convey is heartwarming. the best part of the movie is actually the theme song imo. it's called 'believe my josh groban. and here's a part of it...
Believe in what your heart is saying,
hear the melody that's playing.
There's no time to waste,
there's so much to celebrate.
Believe in what you feel inside,
And give your dreams the wings to fly.
You have everything you need,
If you just believe.
and might i add.. believe in Him and His promises... believe in who He created you to be...

this morning i began on john bevere's book 'talent is not enough'. and the first chapter spoke of how we have to believe in our potential, in ourselves, and in our mission. it sounds simple, but it took those simple words to bring to my attention that i haven't really been believing in some areas.

it's like i've been on a cycle of telling myself 'i think i can', than i slip and doubt again. but i'm so thankful because He always pulls me out of moping, and reminding me of His faithfulness.

"With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible." -Matthew 19:26

pau____
eph4:1


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